Speech Writing Tips

Could there be anything more terrifying?

For many people speaking in public is the ultimate fear while others consider being in the spotlight their rightful place and crave any audience. However most guys fear having to write a Best Man’s speech.

The Best Man’s speech is usually given 3rd after the Father of the Bride and the Groom have given theirs and there is an expectation that the Best Man’s speech is the main act of what sometimes can be a rather dull part of proceedings. Your speech will either go down in history as the high point of the wedding or you’ll be removed bodily from the building by the bride’s angry brothers and father while her mum looks on scowling.

But don’t panic just yet. Here are a few tips to getting that speech just right.

Timing

At many weddings the father of the bride has been known to speak for sometime (which can seem like some hours), but it's only fair, after all he's just paid for a load of relatives he doesn't like and strangers he's never met and will probably never meet again to have a free meal and party at his expense. But this means by the time it gets to your turn people are not only in need of light relief but also might be getting bored of long speeches so don't drag it out for too long. The perfect length of Best Man's speech is approx 7 minutes.

Language

Don't swear. Remember this will be a very mixed crowd. Even if you know the groom's friends use language more colorful than gay pride and his grandfather constantly swears like he's just caught his gentleman's veg in his flies, a wedding is considered polite society so keep your language clean.

Jokes

The same goes for any gags you use, yes you are there to the groom a hard time but what might seem really funny to you, him and your mates down the pub on a Friday night might not be the kind of thing that's going to amuse the bride's Aunt Ethel. If you are undecided about whether something is likely to cause offense in any way then play it safe, there are plenty of great gags in our speech database that will make you the hero of the hour.

Is There Anything I Have To Include?

Traditionally the Best Man answers on behalf of the bridesmaids and ushers for the kind words and thank you's the groom will have given them. Also its really important to introduce yourself at the top of your speech.

"Hi for those of you I haven’t met my name’s Tom and I’m Dave’s best friend/cousin/etc." Its likely that you won’t have met everyone present so its good to let them know your relationship to the groom.

Don’t Forget The Bride

Yes it is certainly traditional to give the groom a hard time but don’t forget to compliment the bride and include her in your speech.

Don’t Get Too Soft

Not only is getting too soft a groom's worst nightmare on his wedding night it's also not something you should do in your speech. It is nice to give some kind words and say what a great guy the groom is but too much soft sentiment might have the waiters bringing round the sick bags.

Delivering The Perfect Best Man’s Speech

Despite the temptation drinking before you speech give will not help calm the nerves. No one wants to see the Best Man swaying as he stands or looking noticeably drunk (which happens surprisingly often). If you do feel the need of something to give you Dutch courage keep it to a minimum.

Relax. Everyone there is hoping for a great speech and willing you to do well, they are a friendly audience who are on your side. Take a deep breath to steady yourself.

Even if you feel your mouth getting dry don’t keep taking sips of water, this will only let people know how nervous you are and this could make them nervous.

Keeping your speech printed out is a good idea but use it as a reference rather than something to hide behind or simply reading it word for word off the page.

Cue Cards are a good idea, they are easier to hold and you can simply highlight the relevant points or gags.

Make eye contact, don’t get so lost in reading that you forget to look at your audience.

Speak loudly and clearly. Try not to rush through your speech, give pauses for the laughter (hopefully in the right places), don’t be afraid to acknowledge anyone who shouts out but you’re not a stand up comic so best to avoid any witty put-downs or ad-libs. And make sure you are speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear you.

Props are either a really good idea or a really bad idea depending on how you use them. Photos can go down great as long as they are printed big enough for everyone to see. Or failing that if you are using photos have an equivalent number of envelopes as there are tables and as you are reaching that point in the speech have your “beautiful assistant” (one of the groomsman or another male member of the wedding party) place an envelope on each table.

Practise makes perfect so practise reading your speech aloud as much as possible and if you’re still worried about it read it out to someone else for their opinion or to help give you any tips.